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You’re such a tease!
For
hours now you’ve been flirting with this new flame. The benefits of
getting together look promising. You swiped right, you’re totally ready
to take it to the next step…
And then suddenly you decide to run an errand. Work sneaks up on you. You’re tired.
From the other side, he or she sends you little feeler messages:
Hello?
You still there?
Still coming over later?
You ignore these messages, filing it in the back of your brain. You say to yourself, “Well, they’ll still be there tomorrow.”
Congratulations! You’ve successfully ghosted your workout!
You might not feel bad, but put yourself in your workout’s shoes.
Your
workout was getting excited for a chance to hang out with you. It was
looking through its wardrobe, deciding what to wear and for once
actually applying makeup. It hummed to Beyonce, doing a little jig while
heading to the gym, eagerly awaiting your arrival.
Then it starts to get fidgety. Your workout has ADHD, you know that. It texts you once. Twice. A third time. Doubt creeps in.
Are you coming? We were gonna do this thing! Where you at?
It gets nervous. It knows you aren’t coming, but it holds out hope. Maybe you’re just running late…like 45 minutes late.
Truth is, you’re back at home, shoving Cheetos down your gullet, binge-watching The Office for the seventh time, avoiding commitment like the motherf*cking plague.
I’ve ghosted my workouts too.
Back when I was in the states, after another grueling day of soul-crushing 9-to-5 work, my DMs would light up: Yo, time for a workout!
I’d look at this imaginary text with absolute loathing. Piss off workout, I wanted to write back, I’m not in the mood.
Sometimes
I’d ignore the message and go home, sit down on my comfy-as-f*ck couch,
and play video games until I felt guilty enough to make dinner. Other
times, I would go to LA Fitness despite how I felt and go through the
motions.
Either way, I wasn’t present in making my body better, and that’s the worst thing you can do.
There’s a stark difference between “should” and “want to.”
“Should”
implies that some external force is making you go workout: Social
pressure, your significant other, the chocolate muffin you had this
morning. “I should go and lift” doesn’t sound fun at all — it sounds
downright sh*tty.
“I
want to go and lift” has a completely different mindset. The want is
comparable to wanting to sleep for 9 hours and eat an entire pizza. In
order to never ghost your workout, you have to enjoy it.
If you think working out sucks and it feels like a chore, then why do it? Hell, I wouldn’t.
Your
workout HAS TO BE FUN. If it isn’t, you’re doing it wrong. If you feel
the need to ghost your workout on the regular, then respond three days
later with an “oops, sorry, missed your text,” then you need to find a
new bae.
Make Workouts Great Again
Move
your body in ways you enjoy. For me, it’s calisthenics, doing super
cool sh*t with my body (think handstands and muscle-ups). It’s also
sports — super competitive over here — and walking.
I want to play ultimate frisbee. I want to do push-ups and pull-ups and dips. I want to walk for thirty minutes along the beach in Cape Town.
Know what I don’t want to
do? Spend 90 minutes in a sweaty gym, doing ten different triceps
exercises because Bodybuilding.com told me it would give me arms shaped
like horseshoes. Or running a 21k. Zoomba (is this still a thing?).
Move the way you love to move, and MAKE IT PART OF YOUR ROUTINE!
Your
workouts need to be that guy or gal that excites you every time y’all
are together. Your best friend that gives you crap and is there for you
when you need support the most. Moving your body can’t be something you
ghost, but rather something you go out of your way to do.
Now I’ve gotta go. My workout just texted me, we’re getting together this afternoon. (You should get in touch with your workout too!)
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